Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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