you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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