You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish i was in the wii world.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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