R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
