He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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