how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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