her vagine was all disorganized.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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