Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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