I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just forgot I was standing up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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