so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
