Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize