I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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