Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize