Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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