Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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