My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
