I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
