Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
