your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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