I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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