I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
