Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
