so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
