Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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