Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
