he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
