The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need a beard to bite.
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