i think my tv is drunk
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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