I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
