And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize