This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
