I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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