another moral hangover. fuck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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