I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
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Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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