yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
