I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
