The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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