Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
