Soap is not a condiment
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
