i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
