I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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