he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
