I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
