I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
