he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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