It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
