Jerry, you need to find god
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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