Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
not ubering you a puppy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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