wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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