I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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