so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
smell my finger.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
