No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
