oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
two words...techno handjob
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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