One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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