halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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