Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So vagazzling was a success
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
