Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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