omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
