look no pants
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
