I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pants are for mortals
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