Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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