She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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