Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
