I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
