Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
