just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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