He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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