It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
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I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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