I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize